One humid afternoon, before Geometry class, a classmate casually told me that my name, Ian, is an acronym for “I am nothing.” Whether he was joking or not, I didn’t laugh. (Then again, I rarely laughed because I took almost everything seriously then.)
Years later, I still remember what my classmate said, and while sometimes I laugh at how ridiculous it is, most of the time I feel like I’m living up to that meaning. That includes the past several months and today.
I am nothing because I’m not getting the support that I want.
I am nothing because all of my efforts lead to nothing.
I am nothing because I don’t feel seen.
I am nothing because I don’t feel understood.
I am nothing because I don’t feel loved.
I am nothing because I don’t matter.
To my classmate, you’re right. I am nothing.
