Post 50: Tired

I’m supposed to post at 4pm (my usual schedule), but I didn’t because I’m tired.

I’m tired because I did a lot of paperwork. I didn’t complain about the number of pages, but I did feel tired after working on it. I’m not getting any younger, man. Also, I think that sometimes, when I don’t tell how bad I feel, my body does it for me.

I’m also tired because yesterday, I walked around after trying an ice cream shop that’s on its last day today. The trip was worth it because of the ice cream (it was excellent, by the way), but my legs don’t agree.

I’m also tired because I saw the news, and I feel really hopeless for this country. The bad news keeps outweighing the good news, and I’m tired of seeing the same old shit. Wala na ba talagang pag-asa ang Pilipinas?

I’m also tired because my mind couldn’t stop thinking about all the what-ifs and things that make me sad and worry. I can’t snap out of that, and sometimes it’s hard to be positive. I wish I weren’t like this.

And most importantly, I’m tired of being hopeful.

I’m really tired today.